Tactical empathy

Tactical empathy is the basis of everything.

“Don’t expect to win someone over if you don’t take a step towards them.”

In a world where communication is king, knowing how to listen is a formidable weapon. Far from being mere kindness, tactical empathy is a conscious strategy used by negotiators, intelligence officers and leaders of influence. Popularized by Chris Voss, tactical empathy makes it possible to disarm tensions, build trust and influence without manipulating.

It’s a valuable tool in the hands of responsible responsible professionals.

The tools of tactical empathy :
4 techniques to defuse any situation

Here are 4 practical tips for applying this powerful technique on a daily basis – whether in your meetings, your personal relationships or your most tense negotiations.

1. Mirror effect: repeat the last 3 words (or key words)

Mirroring involves repeating the last words spoken by the other person, in a questioning tone. This creates an immediate connection and encourages the other person to develop his or her thoughts.

Example:
– “I don’t think this project is viable as it stands.”
– “Not viable as it stands?”

Result: you encourage the other person to pursue their objections, without confrontation.

2. Label emotions

Unacknowledged emotions often become explosive. By naming them, you deactivate their power. Use formulas like :

• “It seems that…”
• “It gives the impression that…”
• “You look like you’re…”

Naming an emotion out loud helps the other person feel understood, even if you don’t agree with them.

3. Master the pause

After a question or statement, wait. Count in your head. Uncomfortable silence is often the space where truths emerge. Silences create a dynamic where the other feels the urge to fill the void… by talking.

This is where the “black swans” come in – those unexpected details that change everything.

4. Use the voice of night-time radio presenters

Your tone is your de-escalation tool. Voss calls it the “late-night DJ voice”: calm, poised, warm. It signals security and quiet authority. Use it to defuse tension and get your most important messages across.

Tips :

• Speak, gradually bringing your chin closer to your breastbone. Your voice becomes deeper (even for women).
• Use a dipping intonation to affirm , or a rising intonation to question.

To sum up tactical empathy

Tactical empathy is not complacency. It’s a negotiation technique based on active understanding, used by the world’s best communicators. By applying these simple but powerful tips, you’ll transform your interactions – and get more out of them than you ever imagined.

• Reading the conflict,
• Time management,
• Openness to others,
• Active listening,
• Creative solutions,
• Resistance management.

In short conflict, i.e. aggression, it helps to clarify the situation so you can consciously decide on your intervention option. Don’t miss Chriss Voss “books and watch Evy Poumpouras” video on tactical empathy.

Stay Safe!